I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
