we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Use "feeling words"
Yay
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
