Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
