If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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