Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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