Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
