I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
