We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
