Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Holy sore nipples Batman
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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