Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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