Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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