she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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