the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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