I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
