i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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