Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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