It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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