I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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