my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
