He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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