So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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