ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
