Screwed.edu
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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