names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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