D3 body, D1 cock
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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