hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize