Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
