I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
