i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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