just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
She said her name was "party"
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
