She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
