i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
