Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
you have to choose: penises or morals?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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