Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
