I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
