Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
