Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
