I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
