Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just high enough for therapy.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
