Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
