Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
the condom got lost in my hair
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
