just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
