I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
