Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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