Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
