I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Randomize
