I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
