the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
