I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
