I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
