Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
